Sir William: Of Course. (He and Lady Lucas go out with Mr. Collins) R.L.

Elizabeth: I’m a little tired.

Charlotte: Oh, then do stay behind and tell me all the news. Your letters have hinted at so many interesting things, but you never gave enough details. How is Jane?

(they sit on sofa)

Elizabeth: Oh, much better, but still not herself, oh, not that she’s ill. No, she’s just not lively and happy like she always was. To tell you the truth, she’s never gotten over Mr. Bingley.

Charlotte: Didn’t she ever hear from him again?

Elizabeth: Not a word. His sister wrote again, three or four pages about Miss Darcy.

Charlotte: Oh!

Elizabeth: Jane’s gone up to London now to stay with our aunt and uncle. Mr. and Mrs. Gardener. I hope it will get her mind off things.

Charlotte: We were so sure Mr. Bingley would come back.

Elizabeth: Yes, but he hasn’t, and now I don’t think he ever will.

Charlotte: How is your mother?

Elizabeth: Oh! She’s herself again. She always recovers quickly. And she spends her time moaning about Jane and complaining about me, and spoiling Kitty and Lydia. I worry for Lydia’s sake, for mother lets her do anything she pleases. She’s let her go to the seashore with the Phillips’ at the same time that the regiment of soldiers moved there. Mrs. Phillips writes that Lydia is having a wonderful time, but Lydia never bothers to write a word.

Charlotte: That must mean that Mr. Wickham is there. Perhaps you should have gone along too.

Elizabeth: No…that’s over too, Charlotte. Mr. Wickham and I liked each other’s company a great deal, but since we are both absolutely penniless, there was no point, as he put it, in letting things follow their natural course.

Charlotte: Well, he isn’t very romantic!

Elizabeth: He’s right, however. Of course, things might have been different if Mr. Darcy hadn’t cheated him out of his inheritance.

Charlotte: Well, there are still a lot of fine young men in the world.

Elizabeth: Yes. (she is interrupted by Collins who comes running in very excitedly; Elizabeth and Charlotte jump up)

Mr. Collins: At once! At once! My dear, Mrs. Collins, at once, at once.

(Sir William and Lady Lucas follow him in)

Charlotte: Why, Mr. Collins, what is the matter?

Elizabeth: Good heavens!

Mr. Collins: Down the road—-down the road, Lady Catherine’s carriage is coming down the road.

Elizabeth: Oh, is that all? I thought for sure that at least the pigs had gotten into the garden.

Mr. Collins: Please, my dear cousin, this probably means that her ladyship intends to pay us a visit. Please be seated everyone, and try to look relaxed and at ease. (they sit) Oh! I hope we have some cake….what if her Ladyship should stay to tea….goodness! (He goes to the window) She is stopping!! She is coming in!! Oh!! (He bounds to a chair where he assumes a pose of perfect composure. When Her Ladyship comes in, he and Sir William rise. Mr. Collins bows very low to Lady Catherine. She is accompanied by her daughter)

Mr. Collins: Your Ladyship’s condescension bestows a great honor upon us.

Lady Catherine: Well, yes, Mr. Collins. Good-day to you. I see that your guests have arrived.

Mr. Collins: Yes. Yes. (As he shows Lady Cath. and her daughter to the sofa which Elizabeth vacates for the footstool) And in good time too. Left only this morning and arrived just as expected. In fact, I happened to be looking out the window at the very moment they arrived. I hope your Ladyship and Miss de Bourgh will be comfortable. What pleasure it gives us all to have you in our humble abode. I said to Charlotte only this noon over dinner what a pleasure it was to live in the shadow of your gracious generosity. (men standing)

Catherine: Yes. And this must be Sir William and Lady Lucas.

Mr. Collins: Oh, yes, yes. My dear parents, parents-in-law, to be sure, but dear none the less, and this is my cousin of whom you have heard, Miss Elizabeth Bennett.

Elizabeth: (Nodding to her) Your Ladyship.

Catherine: Well, you appear to be a genteel, pretty sort of a girl. Your father’s estate is entailed on Mr. Collins, I understand. (To Charlotte) I’m glad for Charlotte’s sake, but it’s a pity for yours, my dear. Now, in our family, no such arrangement was made and my daughter here will inherit great wealth. Do you play and sing, Miss Bennett?

Elizabeth: A little.

Catherine: Then some other time we shall be happy to hear you. We have a fine instrument and you shall be allowed to try it some day. You have a number of sisters, I understand.

Elizabeth: I have three.

Lady Catherine: A pity. How will your mother ever get them married….Do you draw?

Elizabeth: No, not at all.

Catherine: That is very strange.

Elizabeth: I never enjoyed it and saw no reason to learn. I’d rather read a good book.

Cath.: Upon my word, you give your opinion very decidedly for one so young. Pray, how old are you?

Elizabeth: With two younger sisters, both grown up, your Ladyship, can hardly expect me to tell my age.

Cath: (annoyed and surprised not to be answered) You cannot be more than twenty, I am sure. Therefore, you need not conceal your age. Well, we will go now. You may expect us, Mrs. Collins, for a visit tomorrow and the next day you will dine with us at Rosings. Your guests, too, of course. (she rises and her daughter follows her. Just before she exits, she turns to the group and says) Tomorrow will be cloudy with no wind. It will be fairly pleasant, though the next day it will rain. Good day. (Thy exit. Mr. Collins going after them) Left.

Elizabeth: Does she control the weather, too?

Charlotte: Oh, Lizzie, you musn’t tense. I’m so pleased she has invited us. Now you can see the inside of her house.

Lady Lucas: What a grand lady she is.

Sir William: I must say I never saw her equal even at court.

Charlotte: And she is always kind like this.

(Mr. Collins comes back, still all excited)

Mr. Collins: I am overwhelmed by her Ladyships kindness. Imagine her calling the very day you arrive, and then coming again tomorrow. And Elizabeth, how she honored you by inquiring of you particularly.

Elizabeth: Yes. Is her daughter always so quiet?

Collins: Miss de Bourgh, being in such poor health, says very little.

Elizabeth: I see.

Lady Lucas: What a pity. Though I suppose with her fortune she will get married just the same.

Mr. Collins: Oh, indeed. In fact, in a particular way she is already engaged.

Sir William: Oh, how fortunate.

Lady Lucas: When is the wedding to be?

Charlotte: It’s not that definite.

Mr. Collins: I must accept my dear wife’s slight modification. In all honesty, I must admit the arrangement is of a bubtile nature. Lady Catherine and Lady Darcy, the mother of that gentleman of our mutual acquaintance, Mr. Darcy, arranged at the birth of the two infants that they should someday marry and thus unite the two vast estates.

Elizabeth: You mean that Lady Catherine’s daughter and Mr. Darcy are engaged?

Collins: More or less, so to speak.

Elizabeth: Oh, this is fun, indeed, poor Miss Bingley. Then she isn’t to have Mr. Darcy after all.

(Charlotte giggles, but a look from Collins makes her stop)

Collins: Control yourself, my dear Charlotte. I have further information of interest. Lady Catherine, herself, has just informed me that her nephew himself and a friend will arrive shortly to pay her a visit. Therefore, it is very likely that we shall see Mr. Darcy before very long.

Elizabeth: (a little upset) I see. He is the last person in all the world I’d hoped to see here.

Lady Lucas: I find that I am rather weary.

Mr. Collins: Let me show you, at once, to your room. You’ll find you have an excellent view of the Church yard from the window on the east. (Sir William and Lady Lucas follow Collins off stage.) D.R.

Charlotte: I hope Mr. Darcy’s presence here will not spoil your visit.

Elizabeth: No, of course, it won’t. In fact, I hardly expect to see him. I’m sure he won’t go out of his way to see me and I certainly won’t go out of mine to see him. Well, I’d like to go to my room, too. I have a present for you in my case and a note from Jane and a handkerchief from Kitty.

(They rise and exit. Lights fade)

(Lights rise) (At the parsonage the next day. Charlotte brings flowers in, straightens and dusts. Elizabeth enters with a book and goes to the sofa.)

Charlotte: I hope things look all right. I imagine that Lady Catherine will be coming anytime. (goes to window) Do the flowers look all right, do you think?

Elizabeth: It looks fine, Charlotte. You mustn’t let her bother you so much.

Charlotte: She is very particular. (She looks out window) Oh! What a surprise!

Elizabeth: What is it?

Charlotte: Mr. Darcy and another gentleman are coming down the road with Mr. Collins and father.

Elizabeth: So soon! I hoped he wouldn’t arrive for a while.

(Lady Lucas enters)(from M.R.)

Lady Lucas: What is it, dear?

Charlotte: Why you remember Mr. Darcy, mother. He’s coming this way.

Lady Lucas: (Looks out the window) It is him, to be sure, with another handsome young man.

Charlotte: (to Elizabeth) I’m sure this is because of you. I can’t imagine why else he would come to see us.

Elizabeth: I’m sure you’re wrong. There’s no reason he would want to see me.

(Voices are heard in the hall and the four men come in)

Mr. Collins: You remember Lady Lucas and my cousin, Miss Bennett.

Mr. Darcy: Yes.

Mr. Collins: Lady Lucas, Mrs. Collins and Miss Bennett, may I present Mr. Darcy’s cousin, Mr. Fitzwilliam.

(Mr. Fitzwilliam takes each ladies hand in turn)

Elizabeth: How do you do.

Lady Lucas: (nods) Good Day.

Charlotte: I’m very pleased to meet you.

Fitz: Our aunt sent us ahead to say that she would soon be on her way. We met Mr. Collins and Sir William on the way.

Mr. Darcy: How is your family, Miss Bennett?

Elizabeth: Quite fine, thank you. My eldest sister, Jane, has been in London the last few weeks, did you happen to meet her there?

Mr. Darcy: No, I haven’t chanced to see her.

Fitz: I’ve heard a great deal about you, Miss Bennett. I almost feel as if I know you.

Elizabeth: Really!

Mr. Collins: They are here! Her ladyship has arrived. (He goes out to bring her in)

(Lady Catherine and her daughter enter followed by Mr. Collins)

Lady Cath: Here we are…My! I hope there are enough chairs. (She and her daughter sit on the sofa. The men stand, and Elizabeth comes forward and sits on the piano bench. Mr. Fitzwilliam comes and stands beside her. As a result, Elizabeth is somewhat out of the range of the general conversation. Darcy watches her intently, while she and Fitzwilliam carry on an animated conversation. Lady de Bourgh dominates the general conversation which stays somewhat in the background.)

Fitz: Are you enjoying your stay here, Miss Bennett?

Elizabeth: Yes, I’ve had a very pleasant time.
Lady Catherine: I’ve been meaning to inquire particularly about your poultry, Mrs. Collins.

Charlotte: They are doing fine, Lady Catherine.

Fitz: It’s quite a treat to find some new faces here. Such company is always very welcome.

Mr. Collins: We get several eggs each morning unless we only get one, which is very seldom.

Charlotte: However, last week, on Monday, there were none at all to be found.

Elizabeth: Will you be here long, Mr. Fizwilliam?

Fitz: Who knows. I’m with Darcy and he is very unpredictable.

Elizabeth: So, I’ve noticed. I’ve known him to pick up and leave the country without a word. (Darcy looks embarrassed)

Lady Cath: I wonder if you are following my instructions. Did you set your straw in the sun?

Mr. Collins: Oh yes, your ladyship.

Fitz: (touching the piano) Do you care for music, Miss Bennett?

Elizabeth: I’m very fond of it.

Lady Catherine: What is that you are saying, Fitzwilliam? What are you talking about with Miss Bennett?

Fitz: We are speaking of music, Madam.

Lady Cath: Of music! Then speak aloud! It is my favorite subject. I must have my share of the conversation if you are speaking of music. There is no one else in England, I am sure, who has a more true enjoyment of music than myself, or better taste. If I had ever learned to play, I should have been very good. And so would my daughter, if her health had allowed her to take lessons. I am sure she would have played delightfully.

Miss de Bourgh: How does your sister play, cousin Darcy?

Darcy: Very well. She does very well, thank you.

Lady Cath: I’m very glad to hear it. And pray tell her for me that she must practice a great deal if she wants to do well.

Darcy: I assure you, Madam, that she does not need advice. She practices constantly.

Lady Cath: Good. She cannot practice too much. I shall tell her so the next time I write. Miss Bennett, you too, will never play really well unless you practice more. This piano is not the best, but you are welcome to come to our house every day and use the instrument in the housekeeper’s room. You wouldn’t be in anyone’s way in that part of the house.

Mr. Darcy: Miss Bennett plays very well. I have heard her perform at her house.

Fitz: Really? Then she must play for us now.

Elizabeth: No, I couldn’t.

Charlotte: Oh, please do.

Miss de Bourgh: Please, Miss Bennett.

Cath: Yes, yes, let’s see how you do.

(Fitzwilliam helps her open the piano and she begins to play, “Drink to Me Only With Thine Eyes”. He stands behind her while she plays. After a few bars Lady Catherine begins to talk again)

Cath: I think we must go out and look at the chickens. I can tell best what you should do for them, after a look at them myself.

(Darcy is embarrassed at his aunt’s rudeness and comes forward and leans on the piano facing Elizabeth, who continues to play until the song is finished.)

Lady Catherine: Come, come! Charlotte. Come, come. (She goes out followed by Collins, Charlotte, Sir William and Lady Lucas. Miss de Bourgh stays on the sofa.)

Elizabeth: (after she finishes the song) Are you trying to make me nervous, Mr. Darcy, by coming over in all this state to hear me? But, I’m not frightened, even if your sister does play well. My courage has risen to the occasion.

Darcy: You can’t really believe I meant to alarm you. I know you are too composed for that.

Elizabeth: (she laughs and turns to Fitzwilliam) Your cousin will give you a wrong idea of my personality. I’m unlucky to meet someone who can expose my real character in a place where I’d hoped to pass myself off with a good impression.

Darcy: I know nothing bad about you.

Elizabeth: He’s afraid to say so, because he knows I can tell things about him that it would shock you to hear.

Darcy: I’m not afraid of you either (he smiles)

Fitz: Let me hear what you know about him. I’d like to know how he behaves with strangers.

Elizabeth: Well, prepare yourself for something dreadful. The first time I ever saw him was at a ball. And, at this ball, what do you think he did? He danced only once! (Fitzwilliam pretends to be shocked) I’m sorry to pain you, but it’s true, although there weren’t enough gentlemen and to my certain knowledge, more than one young lady was sitting down without a partner, Mr. Darcy, you cannot deny it.

Mr. Darcy: At the time I didn’t know any lady in the room except Miss Bingley.

Elizabeth: True! And of course, no one can ever be introduced at a ball. Well, Mr. Fitzwilliam, what song would you like to hear next?

Darcy: Perhaps it would have been better if I had danced, but I never do very well with strangers.

Elizabeth: Well now, why can that be? Can you guess, Mr. Fitzwilliam?

Fitz: I can answer that. It’s because he won’t go to the trouble, right, Darcy?

Darcy: I certainly don’t have the talent that some people have of conversing easily with new acquaintances. I can’t catch their tone of conversation or appear interested in their concerns as others seem to do.

Elizabeth: Oh! My fingers aren’t as skilled on the piano as many women’s. They aren’t as rapid nor do they produce the fine expression. But, I never blamed it on talent. I always assumed it was because I wouldn’t take the trouble of practicing.

Darcy: (smiling at her) You are perfectly right. No one who has the privilege of hearing you play can think anything wrong with your technique. However, Miss Bennett, neither of us perform to strangers.

(Elizabeth begins to play again. Lady Catherine and the others come in talking and take their places again.)

Lady Catherine: I shall send a sack of my special feed for you to try. Not enough barley is my diagnosis. Poultry are very tricky. (to Darcy) Miss Bennett would not play at all badly, if she had a good teacher. She has a good notion of fingering, although her taste is not equal to my daughter’s. She would have been a delightful performer if her health had permitted her to learn.

(Darcy looks at Miss de Bourgh and Elizabeth watches him)

Lady Catherine: You must come and practice, Miss Bennett. (the song is over) We must be going. We shall expect you all tomorrow at dinner. Come, Come. The carriage is waiting. (She rises and her daughter follows. They leave, followed by Darcy and Fitzwilliam. All exchange good-byes. Collins goes out with them.)

Elizabeth: Well, I think Mr. Darcy is as likely to marry Miss Bingley as Miss de Bourgh. I can’t see that he paid any attention to her at all.

Charlotte: He’s quite a gentleman, Elizabeth. I noticed he paid a lot of attention to you.

Elizabeth: Don’t be silly, Charlotte. You know how I feel about him. I’m sure he dislikes me at least as much.

Lady Lucas: Well, Mr. Fitzwilliam is very nice.

Elizabeth: Yes, he is. He will make dinner more interesting tomorrow.

Charlotte: Oh! Tomorrow. I must get out my good dress.

CURTAIN