Memories of a Special Friend, Charis
From a letter by Colleen Loughmiller
Dear Greenwood family,
I’m honored to share my feelings and memories of a special friend, Charis. Not being a poet or writer, my response will be spontaneous.
Charis made me smile. She had a gentle manner, always lady like, while retaining a maturity about the moment that always eluded me. I would be trying to figure out a fashion magazine such as SEVENTEEN and be baffled by its place in my small teen world and she would enjoy it, even pointing that possibly I (in my unhinged sense of self and ugly duckling image) looked like one of those confident models. She blessed my life that day and helped ease me into the next phase of growing up.
She had a sweet countenance. I never saw her squint her eyes in anger or sarcasm. She didn’t bother to compete or compare. She merged easily into Mutual and other church activities, always a lady but never afraid or attention seeking. She kept her health struggles to herself. I look back now and wonder at her ability to shoulder such serious concerns and pain at such a young age. She was always well groomed and poised even when having to wear long sleeves and a protective hat to guard against the harmful rays of the sun’s interacting with her health challenges/medicines. I remember a fun double date on a hot summer day, attending a Navy air show at Moffett Field. (Bill has copies of those pictures.) She wore a hat and long sleeves. What a good sport she always was!
One time she proudly showed me several pairs of high heels that all fit; she and Afton had successfully gone shopping for shoes that would work with her high instep. I remember how pleased she was.
Charis was respectful of her parents at an age where most youth would be struggling for independence. Charis had such maturity and wisdom that she seemed to sidestep these typical tug-of-war battles. I noticed her unfeigned love and respect towards her father and mother and towards her sibs! She was a good role model for me as I was not so wise.
I never heard her say anything that would be considered gossip! She expressed herself in a straight forward manner and yet was meek and mild at the same time. Her language was concise. She was easy to listen to and to visit with. She was my friend! I could trust her with my thoughts and feelings. When Afton gave me a present of her book of poetry, I felt as if I could peek into her sweet soul a little deeper. I loved Seabird, Paula, and the poems about the Indian people.
This last year my husband Bill and I lived on the Standing Rock (Sioux) Reservation where we owned a cattle ranch. The Lamanite branch of the church was 80 miles away on the other side of the reservation. I grew to further appreciate her love for the Native Americans as mine grew for these dear friends. We have since sold that ranch and now have a ranch in Lima, Montana, but we still have business and church projects tying us to the Lakota Sioux. The LDS church is partnering with the tribe and other business people. This partnership is still in its formative stages. Charis would approve. I feel echoes of her poetry in these friendships and projects.
Paula and her family are very dear to me as she knows. For many years I carried a sense of sadness about Charis’ death. Being blessed to visit her the night before she passed away has always meant a great deal to me. It was a small way of telling her that I loved her – and I still do. My faith propels me to believe that there was a higher purpose to her short life than meets the eye; look how her sweet memory stirs us all even now. She had a strong faith in God and a great love for all her family. How much better can any person live?