About Charis

By Dixie Lee Powell Davis

Thank you for asking me to write about Charis. She was my friend when she lived in Rapid City, South Dakota, and I consider it a blessing that our paths crossed at that time.

I first met her when her husband, Bill Southwell, took a position at the South Dakota School of Mines and Technology Physics Department. My first impression of Charis was that she was very pretty, delicate, friendly and smart. Our friends, Jack and Sherrie Weyland had arrived a year or two before the Southwells. Jack also worked in the Physics Department at SDSM&T. All of us were LDS and had attended BYU. Charis, Sherrie and I belonged to the SDSM&T Faculty Wives Club. It was a very active, well organized group that met once a month on Saturdays during the school year. We enjoyed educational lectures, raising money for student scholarships, and even had a singing group. We were thrilled to have Charis as part of that group. I know she was active then, but I can’t remember a specific activity. Old age and time have taken their toll, I guess.

Charis had been raised south of San Francisco somewhere in the San Jose area while I had been raised in San Bruno which is 15 miles south of San Francisco, so we had many memories of the SF Bay Area in common. She told me about getting Lupus when she was in her very early teens and wasn’t expected to live very long, how she did most of her studies at home to graduate from high school, and became well enough to have an English major at BYU where she won the top poetry award and that was where she met Bill. I was very impressed by her resolve and wonderful spirit. She was a friend that I truly loved. She taught me much about living life.

I remember her play production of “Pride and Prejudice”. She spent a lot of time writing the script by herself from the book, so we wouldn’t have to worry about copyright infringements. We didn’t have a lot of members in the area at the time, but I swear she had every single teenage member involved – both the active and inactive. I remember her talking me into lending her my best “ballroom” formal gown, which I did reluctantly. Who could say no to Charis? It was truly a wonderful experience watching the play. She did a terrific job as director.

My husband and I attended a scientific conference in Prague, Czechoslovakia and Vienna, Austria in the late 60’s. When I came back she wasn’t feeling well. I went to her home to tell her all about the trip. Her father had been on an LDS Mission in Czechoslovakian and she wanted to know as much as she could about the country. I remember telling her that she should go there and see it for herself. As serious as I ever saw her, she let me know that because of her health she didn’t expect to do that.

Later, she contacted what we thought was the flu, but it was something much more serious. Because I had four young children who could pass on any number of infections, and because Charis was so sick, I didn’t visit her very much. I knew she was lonely but I just didn’t want to make her sicker. I do remember taking her to Canyon Lake Park with Briant Jr. to feed the ducks and to just enjoy the scenery. It was a little chilly. I think we took a blanket, but she insisted that she was fine, and she didn’t want to leave. She said it was one of the nicest days she had had in a long time.

I also remember when she and Bill adopted Paula. They were so thrilled: a new baby and something they had wanted for a long time. But taking care of Paula seemed to be a strain on her and her health seemed to go downhill. She said she wouldn’t have changed a thing about the adoption.

People tried to help during those trying times, but because of the nature of her sickness, Bill had the major share of her and Paula’s care. I will always admire his gentle, caring ways. It must have been a very difficult time for him to live through.

There was another time we drove through the cemetery that was very close to both our homes. She told me that this was where she wanted to be buried. I knew I didn’t want to be buried there. It is a lovely small town cemetery, but much too far from family. She liked it because it wasn’t too far from Bill’s hometown in Scottsbluff, Nebraska, her Rapid City home was nearby, and she loved the lovely trees and shrubbery. The lilac bushes were her favorites.

I promised that I would put live flowers on her grave every Memorial Day because she didn’t like artificial flowers. After she died I put lilacs on her gave every year until I moved away from Rapid City in September 2000. I asked a church friend to please keep doing it. The friend moved to California a few years ago and I don’t know if she asked someone to continue placing flowers on Charis’ grave. Today the cemetery is still beautiful, it is where she wanted to be and I am happy knowing she is at peace there.

I really miss my friend.