Ali-be-Dared

and the

Sheik Who Had Nothing to Do

written and illustrated by

Charis Southwell

Once, in a land

That was barren and bleak,

There lived, in a palace,

A silly fat sheik,

A sheik that was silly,

Silly and fat,

So silly and fat

That all day he sat

And did nothing at all,

He was silly as that.

He had ninety-nine slaves

And forty-five wives,

And three hundred guards

With long curving knives,

And they all shook their heads,

As they sat on the mat,

To think that the sheik

Was so silly and fat.

Then one day the sheik,

Who was round as a ball,

Said, “I must stop

Doing nothing at all.

“Find me something to do

In a hurry,” he said,

“Or when the Sun rises

You’ll all wake up dead.”

“What shall we do?”

Cried the slaves, guards and wives,

“Find something to do

Or we’ll all lose our lives.

So they looked and they looked

For an hour or two,

But they could not find

The sheik something to do.

And then they all stopped

And turned with a shock,

Because from the door

Came a masterful KNOCK!

And while slaves, guards and wives

Stood still and stared,

In through the door

Came Ali-be-Dared,

“Why are you standing

And trembling with fear?”

He asked as he sat

On a chair that was near.

“Oh, what can we do?”

Cried the slaves, guards and wives.

“Find something to do

Or we’ll all lose our lives!”

“Stop quaking and shaking;

Your troubles are through!

I’ll help you to find

The sheik something to do.

“Should it be something quiet

Or something that’s loud,

Or should it be something

To do with a crowd?

“What can he do,

A sheik silly as that,

Who does nothing

But sit all day long on a mat?

He sure can’t do much,

A sheik silly as that.

“He sure can’t do much,

But, perhaps, if he cared,

He could dance on his toes,”

Said Ali-be-Dared.

“He could dance on his toes

That are curled on the ends,

And turn little twirls

And bend graceful bends.

“Be happy, my friends,

Our troubles are through.

For now I have found

The sheik something to do.”

Then the three hundred guards,

With a skip and a prance,

Stood the sheik on his feet,

And told him to dance.

“Oh, good,” said the sheik.

“You’ve found something to do

I shall dance, twirl, and bend

In a way that is new.”

Then he took a deep breath

And straightened his hat,

And waited…

While everyone sat on the mat.

Then he tightened his sash

And pulled up his pants,

But it was no use…

He was too fat to dance.

He wiggled and twisted,

He tugged and he tore,

But he ended up sitting

Ker-plop on the floor.

And he opened his mouth

With a terrible ROAR!

“Can’t you see?

I’m right back where I was before!”

“Find me something to do,”

He sobbed with a tear,

“Or you’ll all lose your heads

In the morning. You hear?”

“Have courage, Your Highness.

Don’t give up so soon,”

Said Ali. “Why don’t you

Sing a fine tune?

“Sing fa-la-la-la

Or toodle-de-loo.

There! I have found

The sheik something to do.”

“Well, well,” said the sheik,

As he blew on his nose.

“That’s a bully idea,

As far as it goes.”

He stretched out his neck

And puffed up his chest

Till all of the buttons

Popped off of his vest;

And he opened his mouth

And out came a… ping.

“Oh, no!” cried the wives,

“He’s too silly to sing.

“He’s too fat to dance

And too silly to sing.

Why, this silly fat fellow

Can’t do a thing.”

“I still won’t give up,”

Cried Ali with haste,

“Perhaps he could paste

Pretty pictures with paste.”

“Oh, yes,” cried the sheik,

And he clapped both his hands.

So the slaves brought him pictures

In pink rubber bands,

And the wives brought some paste

In a pottery pot.

“Now, paste,” said Ali.

It’s easy as not.”

The sheik stuck his chubby,

Round hand in the glue.

“Oh, this is a really fun

Something to do,”

He said, as he pasted

A daffodil to

His nose,

And sneezed an “Ah chew!”

The paste pot spilled out,

And the pictures all flew.

Cried Ali, “This is not

A good something to do.”

“What will we do?”

The slaves and guards cried.

You’ll be sorry,

Ali-be-Dared, when we’ve died.”

“Believe me,” said Ali,

“I’m honest and true.

I promised to find

The sheik something to do…

“A sheik, too fat to dance

And too silly to sing,

And too dumb to paste pictures

Or do anything.

“I think,” Ali said,

As he stood in the hall,

“That the best thing to do

Is do nothing at all.”

“Hurrah!” cried the sheik.

“How brilliant of you!

At last you’ve found something to do

I can do.”

And so he sat down,

As round as a ball,

And did something to do,

Which was nothing at all.

And the ninety-nine slaves,

And the guards and the wives

Thanked Ali-be-Dared

For saving their lives.

And they all shook their heads,

As they sat on the mat,

To think that the sheik

Was so silly and fat.

And Ali-be-Dared,

With a snort and a squeak,

Left the barren, bleak land

And the silly, fat sheik,

And the ninety-nine slaves,

And the forty-five wives,

And the three hundred guards

With their long curving knives.

And, as he rode off,

He said, “It is true.

I’m surely glad

I can find something to do.”