SET: Longbourne. Furniture is moved back, table is set with punch bowl and food, candles, and silver dishes. Music is playing. Mr. Bennett is alone.

Mr. Bennett: (to audience) We are having a ball. At least the others are. It’s costing a fortune, but according to my wife, it’s a small investment considering what the results are likely to be. As for me, I’m retreating to the library. (he takes a cake from the table and exits to study)

Elizabeth enters, followed by Lydia, who is talking. (from Dining room)

Lydia: Isn’t Mr. Wickham the loveliest man you ever saw? Save some dances for him, Lizzie. He’s the handsomest man here.

(Elizabeth goes behind punch table; begins filling punch cups)

Elizabeth: Where has that maid run off to? There should be someone at the table to pour the punch.

Lydia: There is Mr. Wickham over there—(pointing into right audience) (Elizabeth looks up) Look, how well he dances, save the third or fifth dance for him. He hasn’t filled those up yet.

Elizabeth: Yes, he is handsome. And for once, Lydia, you’ve found a gentleman with perfect manners. I’ll save the third dance for him. Now, run and find mother and tell her that the maid has disappeared from the table.

(Lydia exits and nearly runs into Mr. Collins, who is returning an empty cup. Elizabeth pours him some punch as they talk)

Elizabeth: Will you be dancing, Mr. Collins, or do you feel that dancing is improper for a person in your occupation?

Mr. Collins: I am by no means of that opinion, I assure you. A ball of this kind, given by my own relations can hardly have any evil tendency. In fact, I hope to dance with all my fair cousins during the course of the evening. And I take the opportunity of soliciting your fair hand for the third and fifth dances. (Elizabeth hesitates, trying to think of some excuse) I trust you are free for those dances.

Elizabeth: Oh, yes, I am. (music stops)

Mr. Collins: Then at the proper time, I shall return to claim your fair hand.

(Lydia and Mr. Wickham enter from D.R. Lydia is on Wickham’s right. She stops first.)

Mr. Wickham: (Taking Elizabeth’s outstretched hand bowing slightly) Miss Bennett!

Elizabeth: (pleased) My dear Mr. Wickham.

Lydia: Pour us some punch, Lizzie. We’re as thirsty as possible.

Elizabeth: Gladly, but did you give Mama my message? (pours punch and hands it to them) (Mr. Wickham sips his slowly during the following scene)

Lydia: Oh, that. I found Mr. Wickham by himself and quite forgot.

Elizabeth: Well, run along……

Lydia: (to Mr. Wickham) I’ll be right back. You mustn’t move an inch, do you hear? (Lydia exits D.R.)

Mr. Wickham: Your sister is certainly a charming child.

Elizabeth: Yes, she is, but don’t let her hear you say that. She likes to think she’s too old for that word.

(from D.R.)

(Mr. Darcy enters, Miss Bingley on his arm. She and Mr. Wickham face each other, both surprised and annoyed. Mr. Darcy looks angry)

Mr. Wickham: (bowing slightly) Mr. Darcy!

Mr. Darcy: (ignoring Mr. Wickham) Come Caroline, we will miss our dance. (she is still on his right) (they exit)

Elizabeth: How rude of him!

Mr. Wickham: (lying) I can’t really blame him. We are not on friendly terms. It always gives me a pain to meet him. You may well be surprised, Miss Bennett, at such an assertion. Are you very well acquainted with Mr. Darcy?

Elizabeth: As much as I ever wish to be and I think him very disagreeable.

Mr. Wickham: I have no right to give my opinion, I’m not qualified to give one. I have known him too long and too well to be an impartial judge…….for I have been connected with his family in a particular way since my infancy.

Elizabeth: (surprised) Oh, really?

Mr. Wickham: Your opinion of him surprises me. Usually people are blinded by his wealth and position and see him only as he wishes to be seen.

Elizabeth: Well, he is not well liked in this neighborhood. Everyone here is disgusted with his pride. (comes around from behind punch table.)

Mr. Wickham: I wonder whether he is likely to be here much longer.

Elizabeth: I don’t know. I hope your plans won’t be affected by his presence in the neighborhood.

Mr. Wickham: Oh, no…..it is not for me to be driven away by Mr. Darcy. If he wishes to avoid me, he must go. I have no reason for avoiding him, but that which I might proclaim before all the world, a great sense of ill-usage, and most painful regrets at his being the kind of man he is.

Elizabeth: (sympathetic) Oh.

Mr. Wickham: His father, Miss Bennett, the late Mr. Darcy, was one of the best men that ever breathed, and the truest friend I ever had; and I can never be in the presence of this Mr. Darcy without being grieved to the soul by a thousand tender recollections.

Elizabeth: It’s dreadful that he should cause you so much pain.

Mr. Wickham: Though his behavior to myself has been scandalous, I believe I could forgive him anything and everything, except that he has disappointed the hopes and disgraced the memory of his father.

Elizabeth: How awful!

Mr. Wickham: But enough of this. I must beg you to honor me with the third dance.

Elizabeth: (elated, then crestfallen) Oh! O-oh! I’m afraid I am engaged for that dance.

Mr. Wickham: Then, may I speak for the fifth?

Elizabeth: I’m sorry, that is also taken.

Mr. Wickham: Then the seventh. You must give me that.

Elizabeth: Yes! Yes, I will.

Mr. Wickham: Also the last dance. Will you save me the last?

Elizabeth: (very pleased) Oh, yes I will. Oh! There is Mr. Darcy again. I’m sorry that he came tonight.

Mr. Wickham: His father, bless his name, was so unlike the son. He left me a comfortable income in his will, but when the time came for it to be given, it was given to another.

Elizabeth: But why?

Mr. Wickham: Mr. Darcy’s dislike of me, dislike that may have come from some measure of jealousy. His father was very attached to me and treated me like a son. I knew that young Darcy disliked me, but I never suspected him of such malicious revenge such injustice and inhumanity as this.

Elizabeth: This is quite shocking! He deserves to be publicly disgraced!

Mr. Wickham: Someday he will be…but it shall not be by me. Until I can forget his father, I could never expose him.

Elizabeth: It must be terrible for you to be here at the same ball with him.

Mr. Wickham: The pain is somewhat lessoned by your tender sympathy and graceful kindness.

(Jane enters. Mr. Wickham bows to both ladies, then exits. D.R.)

Elizabeth: I have just been told the most terrible truths about Mr. Darcy.

Jane: If you mean by Mr. Wickham, I have heard it myself. Although I can’t believe that any friend of Mr. Bingley could be so wicked.

Elizabeth: But can you doubt a fine man like Mr. Wickham?

Jane: No. He couldn’t be lying.

Elizabeth: There was truth in his eyes.

Jane: I’m sure that Mr. Bingley knows nothing of this. If he did, he wouldn’t be a friend of Mr. Darcy.

Elizabeth: But, speaking of Mr. Bingley, Jane, I’ve noticed how he looks at you.

Jane: Oh, Lizzie. He doesn’t say anything, but I can tell. I just know that he feels the same as I do.

(Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy enter, D.R. Sir William enters from another entrance)

(music begins again)

Mr. Bingley: There you are, my dear Miss Bennett! (He bows to Elizabeth and takes Jane’s hand) This is one of our precious dances. We don’t want to miss it. (they exit, very obviously in love)

Mr. William Lucas: (to Mr. Darcy) What a charming amusement for young people this is, Mr. Darcy. There is nothing like dancing after all. Your friend, Bingley, performs delightfully.

Mr. Darcy: Yes.

Sir William: I imagine that you yourself are very adept.

(at this point, Elizabeth steps forward from the table, D.F. to right, as if to leave)

Sir William: (to stop her) My dear Elizabeth, (she stops) why are you not dancing? Mr. Darcy, you must allow me to present this young lady to you as a very desirable partner. You cannot refuse to dance, I am sure, when so much beauty is before you? (Sir William takes Elizabeth’s hand and offers it to Mr. Darcy. He is surprised, but pleased, and smiles and reaches to take her hand, but she draws her hand back at once.)

Mr. Darcy: Please allow me the honor.

Elizabeth: (angrily) Mr. Darcy is all politeness.

Sir William: He is indeed, but considering your beauty, it is no wonder.

Elizabeth: (looks archly at Mr. Darcy and walks away, D.R. Mr. Collins meets her near exit)

Mr. Collins: This is our dance, my dear cousin. Come, come, the music has started. (they exit)

(Sir William helps himself to punch as Miss Bingley enters, then exits the way he came in.)

Miss Bingley: (to Mr. Darcy, who is smiling dreamily) I can guess the subject of your reverie.

Mr. Darcy: I doubt that.

Miss Bingley: you are imagining how dreadful it would be to pass very many evenings in this manner….with such people! And I am in complete agreement with you. The insipidity and the noise, and the self-importance of all of them! What I would give to see your impersonations of them.

Mr. Darcy: Your conclusion is totally wrong, I assure you. My mind was much more agreeably engaged. I have been meditating on the very pleasure that a pair of fine eyes in the face of a pretty woman can give a man.

Miss Bingley: (takes this as a compliment to herself and smiles encouragingly) What lady? Please tell, can take the credit for inspiring such reflections?

Mr. Darcy: (boldly) Miss Elizabeth Bennett.

Miss Bingley: (surprised and deflated) Miss Elizabeth Bennett! I am surprised. (angry) How long has this been going on, and pray, when is the happy day?

Mr. Darcy: Exactly what I expected you to say. A lady’s imagination is a very rapid thing; it dumps from admiration to love, and from love to matrimony, in a moment. I knew you would offer your congratulations.

Miss Bingley: (jealous) Well, you will have a charming mother-in-law, I must say. And of course, she will always be at your estate in Pemberly with you.

(Mrs. Bennett enters D.R. and offers her hand to Mr. Darcy)

Mrs. Bennett: My dear, Miss Bingley and Mr. Darcy, I hope you are enjoying yourselves. I must say, everyone seems to be enjoying themselves, even Charlotte Lucas, not that Charlotte is so very plain, but then she is our particular friend, and friends can be deceived.

Mr. Darcy: She seems to be a pleasant young woman.

Mrs. Bennett: Oh dear yes! But, you must admit that she is very plain. Lady Lucas has often said how she envied me Jane’s beauty. I do not like to boast of my own child, to be sure, but I do have to admit that Jane steals the hearts of everyone. Have you had punch? You must excuse me, Miss Bingley, I must see to the servants.

(Mrs. Bennett exits, music stops)

Miss Bingley: A lovely mother-in-law.

(Elizabeth enters followed by Mr. Collins D.R.)

Mr. Collins: I must apologize again, dear cousin, for my clumsiness. I trust your dainty feet will recover.

Elizabeth: I’m sure they will, Mr. Collins. It is quite all right, thank you.

Mr. Collins: But after I stepped on the other one so soundly. I pray you forgive me.

Elizabeth: I forgive you.

Mr. Collins: I wouldn’t offend you for the world.

Elizabeth: It’s quite all right. But, do me the favor of looking for my mother and telling her to step into the drawing room.

Mr. Collins: It is my great honor to serve you. (exits)

(Jane and Mr. Bingley enter)

Miss Bingley: (to Elizabeth) You are a most accomplished dancer to keep from tripping over such a partner.

Mr. Bingley: It amazes me how young ladies manage to be accomplished as they are.

Miss Bingley: All young ladies are accomplished? My dear Charles, you must be joking.

Mr. Bingley: No, really. They all knit purses and paint pictures. I’m sure I’ve never heard a young woman spoken of for the first time, without it being said that she is accomplished.

Mr. Darcy: I can’t agree with you. I cannot say I know more than a half-dozen really accomplished young ladies altogether.

Miss Bingley: Neither can I.

Elizabeth: Then you must include a great deal in your ideas of an accomplished woman.

Mr. Darcy: Yes, I do.

Miss Bingley: Oh certainly. No one can really be called accomplished who does not have a thorough knowledge of singing, music, drawing, dancing and modern languages. Besides all of this, she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking, and the tone of her voice and her expression.

Mr. Darcy: All of this she must possess as well as a certain spirit and strength of character. (Miss Bingley reacts to this)

Elizabeth: I’m no longer surprised at your knowing only a few accomplished women, I’m surprised that you know any. I never saw such a woman!

Miss Bingley: Oh, you should meet Mr. Darcy’s sister. My brother can tell you that she is all that has been mentioned.

Mr. Bingley: (hesitates, because of Jane) Well…yes. She is very accomplished.

Miss Bingley: There you see?

Mr. Bingley: But I know many such women. Jane Bennett, for example. (they smile at each other) (Jane, Mr. Bingley, and Elizabeth exits) D.R.

Miss Bingley: Elizabeth Bennett is one of those women who seeks to build herself up in the eyes of a man by tearing down other women. A very mean art, I must say.

Mr. Darcy: Undoubtedly there is a meanness in all the arts, which ladies sometimes employ for captivation. Whatever bears a likeness to such cunning is despicable!

(He bows stiffly to Miss Bingley and exits.) (Elizabeth enters with Charlotte) D.R.

Miss Bingley: Miss Bennett.

Elizabeth: Miss Bingley, I notice that Mr. Darcy seems to be an old friend of one of our guests, Mr. Wickham.

Miss Bingley: Oh yes. He was the son of the late Mr. Darcy’s steward. As a friend, however, I should warn you not to believe all that he tells you. Mr. Darcy has always been most kind to Mr. Wickham, while Mr. Wickham has behaved in an infamous manner. Of course, considering his family, what can one expect?

Elizabeth: The only thing I can see from what you say, is that Mr. Wickham is guilty of being poor.

Miss Bingley: I beg your pardon. My warning was kindly meant.

Elizabeth: Well, you are quite mistaken, if you think I believe you!

(Miss Bingley exits) D.R.

Charlotte: I do believe her. I can hardly believe that Mr. Darcy could be so cruel.

Elizabeth: Nonsense, Charlotte. If you had been here to hear Mr. Wickham, you would know that he spoke the truth.

Charlotte: Oh! Just look at Jane and Mr. Bingley. He’s in love with her, there’s no doubt about it.

Elizabeth: And she with him. I’m sure of it.

Charlotte: It seems strange, but I wonder if Mr. Bingley knows it. He acts a little as though he isn’t quite sure how Jane feels.

Elizabeth: So much the better. Let him worry a little.

Charlotte: I don’t agree. Jane shouldn’t let him know. What if he went away with a broken heart, just because he didn’t think she was serious?

Elizabeth: Nonsense, Charlotte. Just look at Jane. Anyone can see how she feels. How could Mr. Bingley have any doubt?

Charlotte: Well, I hope you are right. Mr. Collins thinks so. He already has them engaged.

Elizabeth: Thank you for spending so much time listening to Mr. Collins. It keeps him happy and occupied, and I appreciate it more than I can tell you.

(Mr. Darcy enters) D.R.

Charlotte: I’m happy to do it and glad to be useful. Besides, he’s not so terribly boring.

Mr. Darcy: Miss Bennett, may I have the honor of the next dance?

Elizabeth: Why, yes.

Mr. Darcy: (bows) Thank you. (exits) D.R.

Elizabeth: Now look what I’ve done! I never meant to dance with him.

Charlotte: I daresay, you’ll find him very agreeable.

Elizabeth: Heaven forbid! I am determined to hate him. After what I know of him! Don’t wish me such an evil.

(Kitty, Sir William, Jane and Mr. Bingley enter) D.R.

Kitty: There’s not enough room in there for this dance. We shall have to move the table back and some must dance in here. There—there—just a little (as Sir William and Mr. Bingley move the table) Hurry now, Sir William, or we’ll miss our place by Lydia and Mr. Wickham* music begins, Lydia and Kitty and Sir William exits) (Jane and Mr. Bingley begin to dance at the rear of the stage. Mr. Darcy takes Elizabeth’s hand and they begin to dance; no one speaks) (Jane and Mr. Bingley appear to be talking, but no-one can hear them.)

Elizabeth: This is a very pleasant tune to dance to.

Mr. Darcy: Yes, it is. (pause follows)

Elizabeth: It is your turn now, Mr. Darcy. I talked about the dance. You should make some remark about the room or the number of couples.

Mr. Darcy: (smiles) I shall say whatever you like.

Elizabeth: Very well, that will do for now. Later on, perhaps I may say that private balls are so much nicer than public ones. But now we may be silent again for a while.

Mr. Darcy: You ought to write a book on what to say while dancing.

Elizabeth: Well, it would look odd, you know, if we danced together without saying a word. And I’ve noticed one great similarity in our natures.

Mr. Darcy: Oh—what is that?

Elizabeth: Neither of us like to speak unless we can say something that will astound the whole room, and be handed down to posterity as a proverb.

Mr. Darcy: I’m sure you’re not like that, but you undoubtedly think that I am.

(pause)

Elizabeth: When I saw you earlier this evening, I was just forming a new acquaintance.

(Darcy misses a step and blushes. Elizabeth is then sorry that she spoke. There is another pause.)

Mr. Darcy: Mr. Wickham is blessed with much good manners that he is assured of making friends wherever he goes—whether he may be equally able to keep them is another matter.

Elizabeth: He has been so unfortunate to lose your friendship, and in a manner which may hurt him all of his life.

Mr. Darcy: I hope not without good reason.

Elizabeth: I suppose you never forgive once you have been offended.

Mr. Darcy: Very seldom.

Elizabeth: Then I hope you are very careful before you judge.

Mr. Darcy: (firmly) I am.

Elizabeth: And that you never allow yourself to be blinded by prejudice.

Mr. Darcy: I hope not. (music ends) (Mr. Collins enters and goes up to Mr. Darcy and bows)

Mr. Collins: Mr. Darcy, it has come to my attention that you are related to my dear, noble patroness, Lady Catherine de Bourgh. How pleased I am to meet a cousin of hers.

(Jane and Mr. Bingley exit) D.R.

Mr. Darcy: I am her nephew.

Mr. Collins: Excellent! I hope we shall see you often, if you have occasion to visit her. She has been most gracious and included me often among her guests. What a happy coincidence! I must apologize for not speaking sooner, but it just now came to my attention while speaking to Miss Bingley.

Mr. Darcy: Yes, well, good evening, Mr. Collins. (Darcy exits) D.R.

Mr. Collins: Well there! What a marvelous coincidence! And now Miss Elizabeth, if you don’t mind, I shall take advantage of this occasion to solicit the honor of a private audience with you.

Elizabeth: But, it’s our dance, and I can’t imagine what you would have to say to me in private.

Mr. Collins: Believe me, my dear Miss Elizabeth, your modesty simply adds to your perfection. Let me assure you that I have your mother’s permission for this conference. You can hardly doubt the purport of my discourse. But, before I am run away with my feelings, I shall tell you my reasons for getting married.

(Elizabeth is annoyed, but can hardly keep from laughing)

Mr. Collins: First, as a clergyman, I should set an example in my parish. Secondly, I am sure that it shall add to my happiness, and thirdly….that very noble lady, whom I call my patroness, said to me the very Saturday night before I left, just as the governess was adjusting Miss de Bourgh’s footrest, “Mr. Collins, you must marry.” Since I feel some responsibility for your loss of your father’s estate, I thought it only fair that I should choose a wife from among his daughters. Though I know you shall not have money, I shall never hold it against you.

Elizabeth: Mr. Collins, you are too hasty. I thank you for the honor of your proposal, but it is impossible for me to accept.

Mr. Collins: I realize that young women always refuse the first time asked. I’m sure that when you know that your parents approve, my proposal will be accepted.

Elizabeth: Really, Mr. Collins, I’m serious. I’m the last woman in the world to make you happy. My answer is final.

(Mrs. Bennett enters excitedly. She has seen what is happening, but hasn’t heard.)

Mrs. Bennett: Let me congratulate you both, my dears. Oh, how happy I am for you!

(Elizabeth exits, angry and embarrassed) D.R.

Mr. Collins: I’m sure that her refusal was due to shyness.

Mrs. Bennett: Refusal! I cannot believe it! Depend on it, Mr. Collins, Elizabeth shall be brought to reason. I will speak to her about this. She is a very headstrong, foolish girl, and doesn’t know what is good for her.

Mr. Collins: Well, if she really is foolish and headstrong, perhaps I………

Mrs. Bennett: Oh, no sir, you quite misunderstand me. (music starts) She’s only headstrong in such matters as these. In everything else she is the best-natured girl that ever lived. Come, we will go directly to Mr. Bennett and he will settle the matter. I am sure.

(Mr. Collins and Mrs. Bennett exit) (Mr. Wickham and Elizabeth enter)

Mr. Wickham: Our dance, at last. I’m glad there was no room in there, Miss Elizabeth. (they begin dancing, curtain closes)